Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Manhood - Part 2

I wear the pants in my family ... because I is da Man! These pictures prove it ...





That's Buster and he is the latest edition to the Halverstadt family. He is a nine month old shepherd/beagle mix that Lisa and Tim brought home from the Lake County Dog Shelter last Saturday while I was at work. Needless to say, I was quite surprised when I got home to discover a dog had moved in to my castle!

So you are probably thinking "how does this prove that Adrian wears the pants in his family?" Well, it's like this, I decided 29 years ago that "I" would make all of the major decisions in our marriage and Lisa would handle the minor ones. And, getting Buster was a minor decision. So you see, "I" actually made the decision to get a dog even though I didn't know it at the time. ANYONE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? :-)

The only issue I have found with my decision making process is determining the difference between a major and minor decision. So far, all of the decisions in 29 years of marital bliss have been minor ones (or so Lisa tells me). But, I want you to know that "I" am ready, willing and capable of making a major decision when one comes along ... cause, I is da man!

All kidding aside, the scriptures teach that man is to be the "head of the wife" in Ephesians 5:23 and elsewhere. Some may think that is an antiquated notion in the 21st century. Is God's blueprint for familial organization dated and demeaning to women? How could a women ever reach her fullest potential if she is not independent of a man's authority? What does biblical male headship mean to you?

I would like to chat more but I have got to go... Lisa gave me a "honey-do" list that I need to finish up before I can go to the office. Another one of those minor decisions, don't you know?



Thanks for stopping by!
-------
Adrian

15 comments:

  1. Welcome Suzieszoo to Fodder. I would like to hear the story sometime behind the choosing of your name "suzieszoo?" Hum.... interesting :-)

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  2. What a cute dog!

    Well, you've said a mouthful in this blog. When we read Eph. 5, I wonder when taken in the whole counsel of Scripture, what being the head really means biblically and how should that be lived out today? I don't think the idea is antiquated for the 21st century, but I think some of the ways in which we live out Scriptural truth can be. I just came across a book title that I hope to check out in the near future: Man and Woman, One in Christ: An Exegetical and Theological Study of Paul's Letters. It is the author's position that "careful exegesis of Paul’s letters affirms the full equality of men and women in the church and in the home."

    I'm curious when you say that you decided to make the major decisions and Lisa would make the minor ones, what drove your thinking on that?

    I think both men and women can reach their full potential when they are in full communion with one another rather than relegating each other to culturally stereotypical roles. Men need not be threatened by women, nor do women need to simply accept whatever a man tells them without fully engaging their own intellectual ability.

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  3. In this context, can I attempt to offer up my life for my wife, that she may find the freedom, healing and life to the full that Jesus said He came to bring?

    In finding the freedom to die, am I finding the same freedom, healing and life to the full for myself?

    I suspect I am.

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  4. Steve, I mean Monkey, I agree! Dying to self is the hard part, but it so needful.

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  5. Ok I am frustrated... I just typed a reply to Pat and it disappeared during the submission process. Yikes!

    Anyhow, here goes again. I view biblical headship primarily as influence. Christ was submissive to the Father so the Father's influence passed through Him to man. Man is submissive to Christ so Christ's influence passes through man to his family.

    Peter aludes to this process coming full circle. If the family submits to Christ's influence passing through the man then they in return have the ability to influence the man (chapter 3) even if the husband/father is not a believer.

    About the decision making process at the Halverstadts ... A lot of it came about out of necessity. We decided that Lisa would need to run the day to day household operations when the kids were young and active and my time was limited. thus, I could focus more on the urgent relational needs. Now that the boys are grown we make more decisions (minor) together. My gal is definitely a "git'r dun" Proverbs 31 gal which I have come to appreciate over and over again. Any suggestion on how to get her to walk the dog at 5 am? (no just kidding)

    Good questions... Thanks for asking. Well here goes the submission. I am going to make a back up copy this time.

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  6. "so Christ's influence passes through man to his family." That's the part that I have a hard time with. I've read I Peter 3, but I don't see the passage saying that. But I could be wrong (there's a first time for everything). :)

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  7. Pat,
    Maybe you should try using biblical hermeneutics rather than feminine all the time (Ha, ha, just kidding) ... And, about you being wrong. There is no reason for you to keep score when there are several of us doing that for you... (hee, hee)

    I am thinking familial influence that includes peace, discernment, favor, etc. Things that only comes from the Spirit in the context of family life. In I Peter it is sanctification of the unbeliever, is it not?

    Anything else I can help you out with? :-)

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  8. I was waiting for you to welcome me as you welcomed "Suzieszoo" this morning! (hee, hee)

    I will chime in - I am happy to let my husband make decisions (now that I said that the Lord is sure to test me!). Big decisions can be tough if we're not in agreement but I've learned (the hard way) if I don't get out of the way I get in God's way. He is ultimately accountable to the Lord and God can do some great things if I prayfully let my husband make decisions.

    AND bringing home a dog is a BIG decision, not little! LOL. Your pup is CUTE! Make sure he gets a daily walk or he’ll get HYPER. Enjoy!

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  9. Pastor Adrian, you got me! LOL!

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  10. Welcome "peacefulmomma" and "BG Academy" to Fodder. Is there a story behind the peacefulmomma tag?
    BG Academy, I am sorry. I did not intentionally overlook you... its just that you did not appear on my list of followers. BG... the dog is a small decision if wife says so, Right? :-)

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  11. just a goal, is all. :) thanks for the welcome! i've been reading along for a while, but thought i'd make a place for myself in case i ever decide to speak up about anything!

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  12. 1Peter3,1-7: 1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
    7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

    I assume this is the scripture being referenced?

    The context of the book seems to be that we as followers of the Way should submit in all ways, to all authorities, regardless of how we are treated or whether we want to or not.

    2:13- Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake...

    That's my skewed scriptural interpretation.

    Carry on!

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  13. Ref Eph 5:23. I can't help thinking about my parents marriage. they didn't have Christ as savior in their marriage. My mother was my father's door mat. I watched her with hopelessness and a very sad broken heart as a child. How greatful I am to our savior. He came and saved us and our marriage in 1981. I think this scripture reminds me of God/Wife/Husband relationship. Lets move on to the rest of the scripture and what God says about the husband being the head of the wife (isn't that a mouthful). Lets do our part as wives and let our husbands do theirs weather you feel like it or not. There is a blessing when we do and do it God's way. I have experienced God in my marriage over and over. During 41 years of marriage I have been blessed by God and by my husband.

    Lets change the subject and talk about Buster. Wow - such a cute dog! He's only been with you a week and already has a goatee! They say a dog begins to look and act like its owner after awhile. Is that true? Hee Hee.. He is looking at your Kawasaki - give him a helmet and pants to wear - ready to ride (thats how we roll)! Have fun,
    Momma

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  14. Momma Penny,
    Thanks for sharing your testimony of how God can change lives and marriages. Buster is next in line to ride the Kawasaki right after you! This is your year... go buy some leather clothes to wear!

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  15. I, for one, find great freedom and peace in following God's flow chart for authority. Being in His will is just a harmonious way to live!
    I think God's plan for the family unit is timeless and relevant. Our interpretation is what is askew. (shocker!)
    As a society (and to some extent our church) I think we have become so independent and so prideful that we resist being submissive to any athority. But submission to Jesus as our Lord is central to everything we believe. We cannot pick and choose which parts of God's word we follow.
    The dog is adorable!!

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