Right talk

Two Jesuit priests both wanted a cigarette while they prayed. They decided to ask their bishop for permission. The first asked but was told no. A little while later he spotted his friend smoking. "Why did the bishop allow you to smoke and not me?" he asked. "Because you asked if you could smoke while you prayed and I asked if I could pray while I smoked!" the friend replied (taken from "Leading Change in the Congregation", p. 133).

Sometimes it all in how you ask, Eh? After 29 years of marriage I have come to understand the importance of asking the right questions of Lisa. Most of the time I want to be "Mr. Fix it" when listening to her frustrations but one of the smartest things I learned to do when Lisa is opening up to me about her day or a problem she is dealing with is to ask, "Honey, is this something you want me to help you fix or do you just want me to listen?" Now that is sage advise for any man! Men if you have not dropped this phrase into your relational tool belt then I suggest you memorize it and put it into action asap!

Emotions are an important part of the human life and they play a major role in the Church as well. The Church is known as an emotional system which must be dealt with accordingly. If leaders ignore the emotional aspects of the Church then change will be hard to come by. Transition in the Church is like riding a roller coaster. Emotionally there are a lot of ups and downs, twists and turns.

There are two sides to the roller coaster known as "change" in the Church. The right side is logic and the left is emotion. People enter the coaster from both sides. Often times leaders will hang out with those who enter the coaster from the right and have little interaction with the masses who need to be validated emotionally through emoting communication. As emotion escalates in the congregation leaders must do less explaining and more listening. Unless church people have the opportunity to vent their emotion in productive ways to leaders they will not buy into change no matter how logical it my seem.

Thanks for stopping by!
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Adrian